{"product_id":"the-prince-albert-drive-thru-cap","title":"The Prince Albert Drive-Thru — Cap","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou can sanitize the early 2000s for your corporate mood boards all you want, but we remember what the culture actually was: cheap chrome, untreated infections, and making irreversible anatomical decisions in the parking lot of a 24-hour slider franchise. This is a tribute to the era when the human body was just another drive-thru surface to puncture with mall-kiosk metallurgy.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFeaturing a glistening, airbrushed Y2K chrome homage to America's most digestible miniature burger, hijacked to advertise a genital piercing that takes six months to heal. Because nothing says \"the customer is always right\" quite like industrial-grade body modification served in a sack of steamed onions. Nostalgia is a disease; we’re just treating the symptoms with sterile saline.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% surgical steel (technically)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot responsible for tissue rejection, migration, or deep-fryer grease burns\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCombo meal includes one captive bead ring and a medium Diet Coke\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not submerge in public pools or fast-food ball pits for 6 to 8 weeks\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"One size \/ Black","offer_id":48103936819252,"sku":"21273798254557283979","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ White","offer_id":48103936852020,"sku":"18460312965886420508","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Charcoal","offer_id":48103936884788,"sku":"15038373353238111314","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-the-prince-albert-drive-thru-cap-0_f4d11af6-db54-4252-881d-88ccdbe8a849.png?v=1787164485","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/the-prince-albert-drive-thru-cap","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}