{"product_id":"the-prince-albert-drive-thru-tee","title":"The Prince Albert Drive-Thru — Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou can sanitize the early 2000s for your corporate mood boards all you want, but we remember what the culture actually was: cheap chrome, untreated infections, and making irreversible anatomical decisions in the parking lot of a 24-hour slider franchise. This is a tribute to the era when the human body was just another drive-thru surface to puncture with mall-kiosk metallurgy.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFeaturing a glistening, airbrushed Y2K chrome homage to America's most digestible miniature burger, hijacked to advertise a genital piercing that takes six months to heal. Because nothing says \"the customer is always right\" quite like industrial-grade body modification served in a sack of steamed onions. Nostalgia is a disease; we’re just treating the symptoms with sterile saline.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% surgical steel (technically)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot responsible for tissue rejection, migration, or deep-fryer grease burns\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCombo meal includes one captive bead ring and a medium Diet Coke\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not submerge in public pools or fast-food ball pits for 6 to 8 weeks\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Athletic Heather","offer_id":48103937933364,"sku":"28794547344842197071","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":48103937966132,"sku":"16735418711399243103","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Natural","offer_id":48103937998900,"sku":"21064474550572386059","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":48103938031668,"sku":"28257676649963179917","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":48103938064436,"sku":"28273448562362164879","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Athletic Heather","offer_id":48103938097204,"sku":"14232478896167325938","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":48103938129972,"sku":"34727363819836588003","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Natural","offer_id":48103938162740,"sku":"39608071173827142944","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":48103938195508,"sku":"21167105270172764484","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":48103938228276,"sku":"33167230214212676121","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Athletic Heather","offer_id":48103938261044,"sku":"26917259051615730504","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":48103938293812,"sku":"46774156853612131690","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Natural","offer_id":48103938326580,"sku":"25844964555636423582","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":48103938359348,"sku":"13090144765030249212","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":48103938392116,"sku":"15078062196155167324","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Athletic Heather","offer_id":48103938424884,"sku":"11658869196887137134","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":48103938457652,"sku":"13327395558273445207","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Natural","offer_id":48103938490420,"sku":"14057468842358887708","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48103938523188,"sku":"31078212768030899635","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":48103938555956,"sku":"17664928985012201165","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Athletic Heather","offer_id":48103938588724,"sku":"19968512086650538782","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":48103938621492,"sku":"30762039252390381165","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Natural","offer_id":48103938654260,"sku":"96499976486085859792","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48103938687028,"sku":"13078369751153482855","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":48103938719796,"sku":"10644399556119043820","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/14953457723522318169_2048.jpg?v=1785982629","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/the-prince-albert-drive-thru-tee","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}