{"product_id":"transylvanian-lick-blanket","title":"Transylvanian Lick — Blanket","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe prince of darkness didn't cross oceans of time for your iron-deficient blood. He crossed them because you got sloppy and flashed a solid-gold Day-Date in the wrong part of Wallachia. The fog, the cape, and the hypnotic gaze are all just premium misdirection for a petty street mugging.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRendered in unapologetic 90s parking-lot bootleg glory, this takes the apex predator of gothic horror and reduces him to a common pickpocket with exceptional sleight of hand. Immortality is expensive, and castles do not heat themselves.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDoes not reflect current Transylvanian street value\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGarlic will not protect your jewelry\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBite marks strictly used as a distraction technique\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"50\" × 60\"","offer_id":48237457539124,"sku":"14715742519041679466","price":79.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/14975631849047690286_2048.jpg?v=1787696906","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/transylvanian-lick-blanket","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}