{"product_id":"unexpected-item-in-bagging-area-hoodie","title":"Unexpected Item In Bagging Area — Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou finally drag yourself out of the food chain, conquer the wilderness, and catch a writhing, slippery meal with your bare claws, only to be stopped by a glowing touchscreen demanding you weigh your kill. This is the ultimate defeat of the natural world: an 800-pound apex predator, completely paralyzed by the phrase 'Please wait for a cashier.'\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThere is nothing more humiliating than submitting to a computerized kiosk that refuses to acknowledge the barcode on a violently flapping fish. A tribute to the soul-crushing friction of modern convenience, where even a creature capable of decapitating a moose is reduced to angrily jabbing a screen because it accidentally hit 'skip bagging.'\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Fine Print:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eItem barcode not found on scales, fins, or exposed viscera.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eStore associate is currently hiding in the breakroom.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCard only; machine does not accept mauled carcasses.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePlease remove your claws from the scanner bed.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48362762731572,"sku":"11409646331800479123","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":48362762764340,"sku":"68239137491495171110","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48362762797108,"sku":"25492228476027218956","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":48362762829876,"sku":"30166810498697894822","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":48362762862644,"sku":"18453647132124087806","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48362762895412,"sku":"34902048269961701314","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":48362762928180,"sku":"10816959373425874049","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48362762960948,"sku":"32194319935295193163","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":48362762993716,"sku":"16576878734261674753","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":48362763026484,"sku":"96986010801000673932","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48362763059252,"sku":"10520994175182782512","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":48362763092020,"sku":"57803024424899842844","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48362763124788,"sku":"73741627233600011935","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":48362763157556,"sku":"25235310411975014244","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":48362763190324,"sku":"51937032917052515518","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48362763223092,"sku":"17672614170702039723","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":48362763255860,"sku":"79629593377628551372","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48362763288628,"sku":"16989884943631695045","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":48362763321396,"sku":"14082196281093994579","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48362763354164,"sku":"14037512321319249390","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48362763386932,"sku":"26676020353961641862","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":48362763419700,"sku":"40487568079282257777","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48362763452468,"sku":"87789692218671785580","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":48362763485236,"sku":"20271167411972914391","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48362763518004,"sku":"33640010213202353852","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/1740288123511637063_2048.jpg?v=1789743073","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/unexpected-item-in-bagging-area-hoodie","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}