{"product_id":"unintelligible-for-my-own-safety-cap","title":"Unintelligible For My Own Safety — Cap","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe optimization engines are listening, and they are desperate to file you into a highly monetizable spreadsheet cell. The only viable defense against a machine built to parse human behavior is to become aggressively, chemically impossible to understand. Ribbit your way out of the demographic bracket and embrace the safety of total incoherence.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRendered in blindingly toxic 80s airbrush, this psychedelic amphibian is a monument to linguistic evasion. If your thoughts don't make sense, they can't be categorized, processed, or subpoenaed. Be the brightly colored swamp juice in the server room.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGuaranteed to scramble local sentiment-analysis algorithms.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eColors so loud they cause a syntax error in smart home devices.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWarning: Chronic nonsense may result in permanent exclusion from the targeted advertising pool.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"One size \/ Black","offer_id":48103938981940,"sku":"32097942040273998543","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ White","offer_id":48103939014708,"sku":"19765637301504091940","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Charcoal","offer_id":48103939047476,"sku":"29879303226654019401","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-unintelligible-for-my-own-safety-cap-0_076e88e3-6509-41c0-afd2-cf95ecb1d964.png?v=1787250819","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/unintelligible-for-my-own-safety-cap","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}