{"product_id":"unpaid-domestic-decathlon-sticker","title":"Unpaid Domestic Decathlon — Sticker","description":"\u003cp\u003eWelcome to the world’s most grueling, least-compensated endurance sport. This claymation masterpiece honors the heavyweight champions of the unpaid domestic labor force, competing daily in the 400-meter laundry haul and the freestyle bleach-huffing event for absolutely zero prize money or broadcast rights.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou think you know peak human athletic performance? Try carrying fifty pounds of damp cotton, an industrial mop, and three bottles of toxic degreaser up a flight of stairs while a dependent casually asks what's for dinner. Rep the only amateur athletic league where the medals are just lingering resentment and cracked cuticles.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSanctioned by the International Federation of Unpaid Labor.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePerformance-enhancing substances (caffeine, pure spite) are heavily encouraged.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eScoring is entirely based on how much guilt can be successfully leveraged.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWinner receives the prestigious prize of doing it all again tomorrow.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48121985794100,"sku":"15692905685963627694","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48121985826868,"sku":"25383774259818841309","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-unpaid-domestic-decathlon-sticker-0_f08452cc-19ed-427e-9b10-555d62428141.png?v=1786786353","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/unpaid-domestic-decathlon-sticker","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}