A Little Locomotion T-Shirt — Funny Train Boy Locomotion Meme

They want to take everything from you. First it was the frontier. Then it was the right to construct dangerous, unregulated infrastructure in your own living room. God forbid a small, plastic, cylinder-headed child experience the unbridled majesty of the golden age of rail transit. They want you optimized, digitized, and commuting on a government-subsidized e-scooter, but you know the truth: the only real freedom left is laying down track.

Wear this while hyper-fixating on rolling stock or aggressively explaining the difference between a diesel-electric locomotive and a steam engine to a captive audience. Let them try to stop your momentum. You have got right of way, and a strictly enforced schedule to keep.

• Does not include a working steam boiler or miniature coal tender.
• Strictly incompatible with the Department of Transportation safety guidelines.
• Choking hazard for anyone who cannot handle a man with a hobby.
• Warning: May induce an uncontrollable urge to establish a regional rail monopoly.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.