Cheerful Curses Mug — Funny Toys R Us Parody

For those who drag the twelve-foot skeleton onto the lawn in mid-August and refuse to apologize. There is a very specific joy in delivering malevolent, bloodline-ending hexes with your morning coffee using the happiest, bounciest typography on earth. This spooky novelty mug confuses the target just long enough for the dark magic to take hold.

A vintage-marquee celebration of seasonal darkness, disguised in primary colors. Perfect for manifesting doom with a bright, cheerful sense of wonder, because wishing eternal ruin upon your enemies doesn't mean you can't be festive about your witchy gifts.

• The fine print:
• We cannot guarantee the efficacy of spells cast under fluorescent office lighting
• Side effects of improper hexing may include mild hauntings and bad luck
• Do not read aloud in front of a mirror unless you want permanent demonic houseguests
• Frightening the Homeowners Association is entirely the point

A chaotic vessel for your daily caffeine ritual, arriving securely packaged and ready for immediate deployment at your next coven meeting.