Daddy's Lil Squirter — Cap

Ah, the majestic ocean. Nature’s greatest mystery, home to intelligent leviathans of the deep, and now the victim of the worst nautical pun ever conceived. Look at this happy little guy. He doesn't know what the text below him says. He just wants to spout water and be your friend.

Stick this deeply cursed visual gag wherever you want to immediately end a conversation. It’s the perfect deterrent for nosy coworkers, fellow commuters, or anyone at the aquarium who tries to make small talk. Pure, unfiltered, bottom-barrel boardwalk trash, elevated to an art form.

• Will get you banned from marine sanctuaries (which is entirely fair).
• Please, for the love of god, do not put this on a minivan window.
• 100% waterproof, just in case.
• Weird Castle takes no responsibility for the HR meetings this will inevitably trigger.