Deep Fried Finders Keepers Hoodie — Funny Squidward SpongeBob

A deep-fried, oversaturated vision of aquatic delinquency. When you're trapped in a minimum-wage hellscape ringing up fast food for the most annoying organisms in the ocean, the only rational response is to grab a deck, hit the curb, and claim whatever isn't explicitly nailed to the sea floor.

Property rights are a hallucination maintained by the state, but that dropped wallet you just stepped on is a material reality. This is for the unapologetic opportunists who operate entirely outside of maritime law. Possession isn't nine-tenths of the law; it's the whole damn thing.

• Valid legal defense in international waters only
• May trigger intense feelings of superiority over your coworkers
• Not responsible for what you find, or what you choose to keep
• Do not play the clarinet while reading this