Dracula 33 AD Hoodie — Halloween Jesus Vampire Blasphemy Catholic

He is immortal, rises from the grave, commands his devoted followers to drink his blood for eternal life, and was ultimately defeated by a piece of wood. The theology checks out perfectly.

This is a completely sincere, traditional Sunday school portrait of Jesus Christ, violently mislabeled with a massive vintage horror movie title. It is the ultimate wrong-answers-only meme for the pious, designed to make your local youth pastor furiously uncomfortable while being technically accurate on paper.

the fine print:

• 100% theologically accurate horror merch
• guaranteed to ruin a baptism
• garlic not included, but we aren't sure how he feels about it
• wood-pierced for your sins

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.