Dry Hump Thursday Hoodie — Funny Dry Hump Me If I'm Wrong

There is a time and a place for breathtaking botanical photography featuring delicate water mist and pristine light refraction. That time is exactly when you need to deploy the most unhinged, wildly inappropriate icebreaker known to human resource departments everywhere. The Dry Hump Thursday hoodie is here so you never have to look at a calendar when you can just force a stranger to do the mental math on whether they are legally obligated to grind on you.

It is a lush, serene tropical paradise ruined instantly by the primal urge to be both aggressively forward and casually aware of the weekend. Deploy this offensive joke pullover at the office or the family reunion. Send a clear message that you are perfectly willing to be fact-checked, provided the penalty involves friction.

• The Fine Print:
• Not a legally binding contract if it is, in fact, Wednesday.
• Please do not approach the botanical garden staff with this energy.
• HR has preemptively escalated your existence to a Level 4 incident.

A deeply problematic piece of casual wear for making people profoundly uncomfortable in public.