Eating For Two Tapeworm — Funny Novelty Shirt

You have that special glow. You are ravenously hungry. You are expanding by the day. But there is no miracle of life happening in there—just a fourteen-foot flatworm you picked up from eating discount gas station pork. Finally, a fake maternity shirt for the unapologetic dirtbag.

Why diet when you can just outsource your caloric intake to a grotesque intestinal roommate? It eats the garbage you crave, and in return, you get to demand a seat on the subway. Wear this unhinged novelty tee to a baby shower and violently insist they buy something off your registry for your beautiful, nutrient-leeching boy.

• The Fine Print:
• Ultrasound confirms it is a boy (and also a hermaphrodite)
• Cravings include: raw meat, loose soil, and drywall
• Cheaper than a wellness retreat, twice as visceral
• Please do not deworm the mother-to-be

Standard unisex fit to easily accommodate your rapidly growing intestinal parasite. Ready to ship.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. U.S. delivery is free.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.