Festive Yard Waste Hoodie — Spooky Season Opens Autumn True Crime Dark

Autumn is a magical time for family, falling leaves, and making sure the neighborhood watch minds its own business. Nothing says seasonal compliance quite like a cheerful orange pumpkin sitting at the end of the driveway, completely masking the quiet hostility of suburban life.

It holds exactly thirty gallons of damp foliage, dead branches, or whatever else you needed to drag out of the basement in the dead of night. Perfectly festive and unmistakably shaped exactly like a tied-off human corpse. The HOA cannot cite you for a zoning violation if the problem has a big smiling face on it.

• Opaque orange design prevents casual snooping from the sidewalk
• Perfectly contoured to fit snugly in the trunk of a rented sedan
• Guaranteed to give the early-morning sanitation crew a fun little adrenaline spike
• Smiles brightly while you loudly maintain your alibi

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. U.S. delivery is free.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.