Horny In This Chili's Sticker — Funny Horny in This Chilis Meme

There is a specific kind of feral desperation that only hits halfway through a plate of Southwestern Eggrolls. You look around at the sticky laminate booths, the neon pepper signs, the bottomless chips, and you think: this cannot be it. I am a heavily armed apex predator in the prime of my life, and someone in this establishment needs to acknowledge it.

This is for the warrior who outright refuses to read the room. Let the manager threaten to call the authorities. Let the hostess ask you to keep your voice down. You didn't drag a belt-fed machine gun through the jungle just to eat a molten chocolate cake in complete celibacy while a family of four stares at your bandolier.

• Does not guarantee romantic success at mid-tier casual dining franchises.
• We are legally barred from defining what constitutes appropriate arousal near the appetizer station.
• If approached by management, simply rack the slide and ask for extra ranch.
• Not valid for the two-for-twenty meal deal.