
how tf did they build this T-Shirt — Funny Ancient Egypt
- Printed to order in the U.S.
- Tracked to your door
- Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+ — this one gets you there
- 30-day returns
- A person answers your email
Ships fast, with tracking · Shipping details
Secure Shopify checkout · a person answers your email
About this item
Modern construction requires two things: a crippling nicotine addiction and a portable Bluetooth speaker blasting butt-rock at 110 decibels. So how in the name of Ra did the ancients stack two million limestone blocks in the blistering desert heat without a single bass drop?
This historically accurate papyrus investigates the greatest archaeological mystery of our time. Forget aliens and pulleys. The real question is how you keep morale up on a generational tomb project without a beat-up cylindrical speaker drowning out the sound of the overseer's whip.
- Zero confirmed bluetooth pairings in the Old Kingdom
- Pharaoh-mandated acoustic suffering
- OSHA was just a guy named Steve who got fed to a crocodile
Shipping & returns
Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.
Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.
Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.
Size guide
True to size, unisex fit. Measurements are the garment laid flat, in inches.
| Size | Chest width | Body length |
|---|---|---|
| S | 18 | 28 |
| M | 20 | 29 |
| L | 22 | 30 |
| XL | 24 | 31 |
| 2XL | 26 | 32 |
| 3XL | 28 | 33 |