Human Kindling Hoodie — Funny Dont Set Yourself on Fire Quote

“Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm” is beautiful advice until you remember that your boss, your ex, and the economy are completely out of firewood and looking at you like a fresh cord of dry pine. This is the official uniform of the serial martyr, the chronic people-pleaser, and anyone who has ever replied “no worries at all!” while actively burning to ash.

Featuring a completely normal and not-at-all-terrifying giant weeping fire-eye raining down upon a guy with an umbrella. A gentle visual reminder that boundaries are important, but mostly that being used as emergency fuel is a terrible long-term survival strategy. Perfect for your next one-on-one about “stretching for the team.”

• 100% ineffective against actual giant flaming sky-eyes.
• HR requests you stop screaming during core business hours.
• Your ashes will be swept up by the night crew and deducted from your PTO.
• Do not use as an instruction manual.