Keeps 'Em Cold — T-Shirt

Premium ice retention has finally reached its logical, morbid conclusion. Why settle for a generic rectangular tub when you can trust the exact geometric shape that has successfully kept humanity out of the sun for centuries? It turns out the absolute best vessel for a three-day weekend bender is identical to the one used for eternal rest.

• Guaranteed to hold solid ice longer than most people hold grudges.
• Perfectly sized for a gross of domestic lagers or an incredibly unlucky hunting buddy.
• Doubles as an excellent conversation starter at children's birthday parties.
• Please drain the melted ice before initiating a burial at sea.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. U.S. delivery is free.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.