Mental Eelness Hoodie — Funny Mental Health

The discourse around mental health has become entirely too sanitized. We traded the visceral terror of losing your mind for sterile mindfulness apps and corporate wellness modules. It is time to return to the wet, biological truth: there is a slippery, bottom-feeding aquatic predator slithering around inside your skull cavity, and it is making all of your financial decisions.

This pencil-sketched cry for help is built for anyone who prefers their psychological trauma delivered via a terrible oceanic pun. Flash it in the therapist’s waiting room to establish dominance, or use it as a bulletproof excuse for why you completely ruined your life this morning.

• Not currently recognized by the American Psychiatric Association
• Do not attempt to feed the cranial parasite
• Side effects include poor impulse control and a strong desire to bite scuba divers