Not Only Did You Not Get The Job Sticker — Funny Corporate America

Thank you for coming in today. Your resume was impressive, your references checked out, and your answers to the behavioral questions were adequate. Unfortunately, we have decided to move forward with another candidate, and also the police are here to take you away in handcuffs. Best of luck in your future endeavors, which will mostly consist of making license plates.

This is exactly how the modern job market feels. You do four rounds of panel interviews, an unpaid take-home project, and a personality test, only to get a rejection email so aggressive it feels like a felony charge. Let everyone know you didn't just fail to secure the bag, you are actively being prosecuted for trying.

• HR has already testified against you
• Your severance package is a single phone call
• We kept your take-home assignment to use as state's evidence
• Not a great culture fit for the outside world

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.