Notice Of Active Dissociation Sticker — Food Mental Health Driving

You are doing 75 on the interstate, but mentally, you have been floating somewhere above the passenger seat since the last tollbooth. Let the tailgaters behind you know that the meat sack at the wheel is temporarily vacant and autopilot has been engaged via pure trauma response.

Styled like a legally mandated transportation warning, this is the perfect disclaimer for when you inevitably drift across the rumble strip because you were replaying a minor humiliation from 2014. It sets the proper expectations for highway patrol, nervous passengers, and terrified commuters alike.

the fine print:

• Honking will not return the soul to the body.
• Not an acceptable legal defense for sideswiping a guardrail.
• Please allow 3 to 5 business days for consciousness to resume.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.