Personal Conspiracy Theories Sticker — Funny Anxiety

Anxiety isn't a medical condition, it's just an exhausting, heavily researched, entirely self-contained InfoWars broadcast about your own personality. You are the deep state, the lone whistleblower, and the terrified public all at once.

Perfect for staring blankly at the ceiling at 3 AM while compiling a mental dossier of every minor social interaction you've ever botched. Let this grid of unblinking, judgmental pop-art eyes remind everyone that your internal monologue is basically a red-string murder board connecting your posture to why the barista didn't smile.

• You are not being gang-stalked, you just have a chemical imbalance.
• The eyes on this graphic cannot see you, but the government definitely can.
• We promise nobody remembers that weird thing you said at that party in 2016. (They absolutely do.)