Rigor Mortis T-Shirt — Funny Office Cubicle Corporate Burnout

Welcome to the endless grid of the open-plan afterlife. The air is stagnant, the fluorescent lights are humming at a frequency designed to induce minor seizures, and your limbs have been locked in the same C-suite posture since 2018. You aren't building a career; you're just slowly stiffening up until someone from facilities finally notices the smell.

This high-contrast, photocopied-zine vision of hell captures the true essence of the modern work week. The tragedy isn't that the cubicle kills you—it's that your unblinking corpse is still expected to hit its quarterly KPIs and pretend to care about the new synergy initiative.

• Designed for the exact moment you realize the screen saver has outlived your dreams.
• HR formally requests you stop weeping into the breakroom microwave.
• Clinically dead employees are still required to find coverage for their shift.