Sawed-Off Liar — Cursed Retro Mascot Shirt

The ultimate biological workaround for a cursed wooden boy in the criminal justice system. A wordless, misregistered bootleg mascot staring you down with terrifying human teeth, a cheap track jacket, and a freshly sanded face ready to beat any polygraph test.

This weird graphic tee is perfect for your next deposition, late-night interrogation, or prolonged silence in the back of a squad car. He is not going to tell them anything, and even if he did, the physical evidence has been aggressively modified with a circular saw.

• Physical tells removed for legal reasons
• Features deeply unsettling human dentition
• Intellectual property theft executed poorly
• The perfect cursed gift for aspiring perjurers

An incredibly specific weird shirt for highly suspicious individuals.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. U.S. delivery is free.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.