Stuart Big T-Shirt — Little Mobility Scooter Obese Mouse Parody Rascal

The tiny red roadster was a young man's game. Now that the Upper East Side adoption money has dried up and the metabolism has ground to a tragic halt, the boy wonder has upgraded to a heavy-duty Rascal and a lifetime supply of cheese curds. Meet the undisputed king of the motorized grocery aisle.

This is what happens when a beloved childhood icon discovers the American dream of supreme sedentariness. Why navigate a dangerous world of hungry cats and predatory birds when you can simply run over their toes at three miles an hour while blocking the entire sidewalk?

• Requires frequent stops to recharge the 12-volt battery and catch his breath.
• Upgraded heavy-duty suspension system for maximum payload efficiency.
• Absolutely refuses to give up his spot in the theme park line.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.