Terminal Evolution Shirt — Funny Carcinization Crab Evolution

Science proves that over millions of years, diverse organisms keep independently evolving into crabs. It is called carcinization, and it means your current fleshy, upright-walking meat-sack phase is just an awkward transitional state on the way to becoming a heavily armored bottom-feeder. Unfortunately, even when you finally reach biological perfection, you still have to commute to the morning strategy meeting. This shirt is a bleak but scientifically accurate reminder of our inevitable crustacean future.

• 100% soft cotton, a comfortable placeholder until you grow a carapace
• Biologically impervious to workplace morale initiatives
• Perfectly adapted for sidestepping responsibilities and avoiding eye contact with management
• Breathable fabric to keep you cool when caught outside the tide pool

Bella+Canvas 3001 unisex jersey tee, retail fit, 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²). 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton. Ribbed knit collar. Tapered shoulders. Dual side seams. Direct-to-garment (DTG) print, front.