The Board Of Directors — Retro Sci-Fi Alien Hoodie

You put on the special glasses and suddenly the quarterly earnings report makes perfect sense. It turns out the guy lecturing you about synergies, paradigm shifts, and mandatory return-to-office policies doesn't just lack a soul—he lacks an epidermis.

A retro 3D anaglyph salute to the real architects of our daily grind. They don't need to conquer the planet with death rays or flying saucers when they can just buy up the housing market and force you to rent your own existence back from them at a premium. Perfect for anti-capitalist sci-fi fans who know the horrifying truth about middle management.

• Do not look directly into the HR department
• Subliminal messaging optimized for maximum shareholder value
• Special sunglasses will not protect you from the upcoming restructuring

A reliable layer for surviving your next mandatory all-hands meeting or hostile corporate takeover.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. U.S. delivery is free.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.