Two Wars, Zero Service — The Civil War Veteran Hat Bundle

You didn’t serve in one. You didn’t serve in two. But now you can dress like you did both.

The Two Wars, Zero Service bundle gets you both Civil War Veteran hats — the original (1861–1865) and the sequel (TBD) — so you can claim service across two American conflicts that you absolutely did not participate in. One hat for the war that happened. One hat for the war that hasn’t. Maximum fake valor, one discounted price.

What’s in the Bundle

• Civil War Veteran Hat (1861–1865) — Premium handmade corduroy cap with embroidered patches and fake valor ribbons. Says “CIVIL WAR VETERAN” so you don’t have to.
• Civil War 2 Veteran Hat (Pre-Deployed) — Premium handmade black corduroy cap with “FUTURE VETERAN” embroidery. For a war that hasn’t started. Yet.

Why Buy the Bundle

Buying them separately means two transactions, two shipping charges, and two moments where you have to explain to your bank why you’re purchasing satirical military headwear. The bundle eliminates one of those moments and saves you money. That’s called strategy — something a real veteran would appreciate.

Perfect For

• People who want to confuse everyone at the barbecue
• Gift sets for the friend who has opinions about everything
• Wearing one and leaving the other on your dashboard as a conversation piece
• Anyone who thinks America’s best days are both behind and ahead of us

Returns + Exchanges

We accept returns within 30 days. Both hats must be unworn and in original condition. Your two-war veteran status, however, is permanent and non-transferable.