Two Wars, Zero Service — The Civil War Veteran Hat Bundle
$64.00
Unit price per
Kindly, Ignore this.
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Two Wars, Zero Service — The Civil War Veteran Hat Bundle
In stock - Ready to be shipped
Estimated delivery between July 04 and July 06.
$64.00
Unit price perYou didn’t serve in one. You didn’t serve in two. But now you can dress like you did both.
The Two Wars, Zero Service bundle gets you both Civil War Veteran hats — the original (1861–1865) and the sequel (TBD) — so you can claim service across two American conflicts that you absolutely did not participate in. One hat for the war that happened. One hat for the war that hasn’t. Maximum fake valor, one discounted price.
What’s in the Bundle
- Civil War Veteran Hat (1861–1865) — Premium handmade corduroy cap with embroidered patches and fake valor ribbons. Says “CIVIL WAR VETERAN” so you don’t have to.
- Civil War 2 Veteran Hat (Pre-Deployed) — Premium handmade black corduroy cap with “FUTURE VETERAN” embroidery. For a war that hasn’t started. Yet.
Why Buy the Bundle
Buying them separately means two transactions, two shipping charges, and two moments where you have to explain to your bank why you’re purchasing satirical military headwear. The bundle eliminates one of those moments and saves you money. That’s called strategy — something a real veteran would appreciate.
Perfect For
- People who want to confuse everyone at the barbecue
- Gift sets for the friend who has opinions about everything
- Wearing one and leaving the other on your dashboard as a conversation piece
- Anyone who thinks America’s best days are both behind and ahead of us
Returns + Exchanges
We accept returns within 30 days. Both hats must be unworn and in original condition. Your two-war veteran status, however, is permanent and non-transferable.
You’re not buying a joke, you’re buying a well-made product with a joke on it. Quality that won’t make you question your life choices.
We accept returns and exchanges within 30 days of delivery.
Items must be unworn, unwashed, and still capable of starting arguments.
If something’s off, email us with your order number and we’ll make it right, no weird hoops to jump through.
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$64.00
Unit price per
Two Wars, Zero Service — The Civil War Veteran Hat Bundle
Built to Turn Heads. Designed to Last.
High-quality materials, bold designs, and fast U.S. shipping. Every piece we sell is made to get noticed and worn again and again.
FAQs
Yep. Real products, real shipping, real weird.
We print and ship everything from our U.S.-based fulfillment partners — no AI hallucinations involved.
Most apparel runs from XS to 3XL, depending on the product.
Size charts are listed on each item, but if you're between sizes, we recommend sizing up (especially if you’ve been hitting the gym or the fridge).
Email us anytime at weirdcastlecrew@gmail.com
We’re small but scrappy — someone human will get back to you within 1–2 business days, possibly faster if we’re not arguing about fonts.
Sometimes, yes.
Limited-run drops and trending products can disappear fast. If you see something you love, don’t wait — we might never bring it back.
Delivery, Returns, Exchanges and Guarantee
Orders usually ship within 1–3 business days, with delivery times depending on your location.
U.S. orders typically arrive in 3–7 days after fulfillment. You'll get a tracking number as soon as it’s on the move.
Not yet — but we’re working on it.
For now, Weird Castle only ships within the U.S. (though our chaos knows no borders).
You’ve got 30 days to return or exchange an item.
As long as it’s unworn, unwashed, and not covered in BBQ sauce, we’ll take it back.
Email us with your order number to get started.
Absolutely.
If your item arrives damaged or misprinted, we’ll replace it or issue a refund — no drama. Just email us a photo and your order number so we can fix it fast.