Virtual Tapeworm — Hoodie

Remember the golden age of LCD pocket companions, when you could pause a living creature so it wouldn't die while you were in math class? We brought back the magic, but updated it for a world that drains you from the inside out. Meet your new pixelated gastrointestinal hitchhiker.

It demands attention. It consumes your resources. It thrives entirely on your inability to look away from a tiny blinking screen. Finally, a bootleg retro experience that accurately reflects the modern human condition.

the fine print:

• Requires feeding every three hours (press C to administer pixelated raw pork)
• Beeps incessantly when the host reaches critical malnutrition
• Cannot be deleted, reasoned with, or cured

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. U.S. delivery is free.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.