Well Shit — Hoodie

You finally went for it. You saw a brief, shimmering moment of childlike joy floating by in the breeze, and you reached out to grab it. Naturally, your entire arm immediately detached at the socket. That’s what you get for trying to have a nice time.

Rendered in classic vintage comic halftone, this is the ultimate tribute to every time you tried to grasp a little happiness and the universe physically dismantled you for the attempt. A timeless mood for anyone who has ever tried to be an optimist and was instantly punished for their hubris.

• Balloons are not legally required to wait for you to reassemble yourself.
• Orthopedic copays for joy-related injuries are strictly out-of-pocket.
• Calcium supplements will not fix your underlying existential dread.
• Bones are structural; morale is entirely optional.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.