Xanax Take Me Away Sticker — Funny 90S Nostalgia

Remember when your biggest problem was keeping your glitter gel pens organized and not the crushing, inescapable weight of modern existence? We took the hyper-saturated, aggressively joyful aesthetic of a 90s school supply aisle and pumped it full of the only thing keeping your nervous system from fully short-circuiting today.

Behold a violently happy shooting star trailing a neon rainbow, paired with a desperate, classic-commercial plea to modern chemistry. It is the perfect collision of childhood innocence and adult coping mechanisms. Let the soothing pastel colors wash over you while you wait for the little peach pill to finally kick in.

• Will not cure your existential dread, but will make it sparkle.
• Keep out of reach of children and well-adjusted adults.
• Pairs flawlessly with disassociating in the bathtub.
• Nostalgia is a hell of a drug, but benzos are actually FDA-approved.