Sad off-model Pokemon: a jowly Pikachu, a cinderblock Squirtle and two cursed creatures, on a blanket

Blanket · Weird Castle original

100% Genuine Battle Freaks Blanket — Funny Monster Parody

$59.99

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Size: 50" × 60"

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The product, without the sales fog

What you’re actually getting

Welcome back to the discount toy aisle of 1998, where the plastics gave you a headache and the mascots looked like they had a violent criminal record. We skipped the beloved franchise entirely to bring you the monster blanket your grandmother accidentally bought you for your birthday, 100% genuine according to the box.

Featuring a jaundiced rat burdened with human ears and a miserable turtle carrying a cinderblock, this aggressively confident monster parody artwork captures the deeply unsettling energy of a factory trying to guess what western children want, and getting it horribly, hilariously wrong.

The fine print:

Do not make direct eye contact with the yellow rodent.
100% genuine merchandise of a franchise that does not exist.
Will immediately forfeit any battle against a licensed cease-and-desist.
Evolves strictly into a protracted trademark dispute.
A parody. Not affiliated with or endorsed by any game publisher.

A deeply cursed, highly nostalgic 90s toy throw blanket perfect for retro gaming or confusing your houseguests.

Product specifications

Product details

Material. 100% polyester, 1/8" (3mm) thick, sherpa backing
Details. One-sided print with a plush sherpa reverse
Hemmed edges
50" x 60" throw
Decoration. All-over sublimation, one side

Shipping & returns

For made-to-order items, allow production time plus shipping time. These are separate estimates measured in business days, not a guaranteed arrival date. Items shipped from our own stock say so in their description. Shipping cost is shown at checkout. Outside the U.S., EU, UK and Norway, import duties or taxes may be due on delivery. Shipping times and tracking help.

Request a return within 30 days after delivery. Eligible items must be unused or unworn, with tags, original packaging and proof of purchase. Contact us before sending anything back; accepted returns receive a shipping label.

Sale items, gift cards and custom or personalized orders have exclusions. See the full refund policy for all conditions, exceptions and regional rights. For damage, defects or the wrong item, contact us promptly.

Same design, different format