Aggressive OOO — Canvas
- Printed to order in the U.S.
- Tracked to your door
- Free U.S. delivery
- 30-day returns
- A person answers your email
Ships fast, with tracking · Shipping details
Depth: 0.75''
Secure Shopify checkout · a person answers your email
About this item
The polite little half-moon icon stopped working a long time ago. Sometimes 'Do Not Disturb' requires a rusted spring-loaded mechanism and four hundred pounds of medieval crushing force. You didn't just mute your notifications—you baited them, waited in the brush, and absolutely obliterated them.
Mounted proudly on a plaque for the respect it demands, this is the only rational response to a weekend Slack ping or an urgent calendar invite. You are finally unreachable. The trap saw to that. Let them gaze upon your greatest catch and know better than to ask for a status update.
- Warranty entirely void if trap was triggered by a 'quick question'
- Does not support 5G, Wi-Fi, or corporate synergy
- Please allow 4 to 6 weeks for your manager to stop trying
Shipping & returns
Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. U.S. delivery is free.
Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.
Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.
