America Runs On Slaughter Poster — Funny Dunkin' Donuts Parody

You cannot just wake up at 5 AM, put on a weathered hockey mask, and start chasing teenagers through the woods on zero sleep. Stalking is cardio. Machete swinging requires rotator cuff stamina. Before you systematically eliminate a cabin full of hormonally charged camp counselors, you need a large iced regular and a Boston Kreme.

• Not responsible for what happens if they are out of French Vanilla.
• Chainsaws must be left idling in the parking lot.
• The real horror is the artificial sweetener aftertaste.
• Please do not make eye contact with the guy in the William Shatner mask.

The perfect piece of wall decor for horror movie fans, Halloween junkies, and heavily caffeinated morning people. Ships fast and arrives ready to terrify your houseguests.