Basic Baphomet Hoodie - Funny Occult Goth Sweatshirt

Hell is empty, and the dark lords are currently carrying 40-ounce pastel hydration vessels through a suburban parking lot. Baphomet didn't endure millennia of occult persecution just for you to suffer from a mild dehydration headache. Drink your water, you beautiful, doomed vessel of flesh.

This funny occult pullover hoodie is a monument to the only two things holding your psyche together: a vague allegiance to the dark arts and aggressive, performative hydration. Because when the structural collapse of society finally hits, at least your emotional support cup will keep your iced matcha cold for 24 hours.

• Will not fill the gaping existential void in your chest
• The perfect goth streetwear for carrying a giant tumbler to Target
• Fits comfortably in most standard summoning circles
• Hydrate aggressively, perish eventually

Gildan 18500 unisex hooded sweatshirt, classic fit, 8.0 oz/yd² (271 g/m²). 50% cotton, 50% polyester. Pouch pocket. Double-lined hood with color-matched drawcord. Ribbed cuffs and hem. Direct-to-garment (DTG) print, front.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. U.S. delivery is free.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.