Brutal Sea Food Shoppe T-Shirt — Funny Long John Silvers

Because nothing screams 'blast beats and auditory devastation' quite like a two-piece battered fish combo. We took the undisputed king of strip-mall maritime grease and gave it the brutal death metal aesthetic it has always secretly deserved. Let’s be honest: what happens in your gastrointestinal tract after inhaling a platter of hushpuppies and mysterious fried ocean triangles is basically a mosh pit anyway.

Throw this on for your next late-night drive-thru run or basement hardcore show. It is the ultimate tribute to the only fast food chain that sounds like a 17th-century pirate but hits like a wall of drop-tuned distortion. Demand your extra crispies, but do it in a guttural pig squeal.

• 100% blast beats and battered cod
• Tartar sauce is basically corpsepaint for fish
• Do not ask what the crispies are made of (it is bone)