Court-Ordered Homebody Sticker — Funny House Arrest Decal

Some people stay in because they love streaming and scented candles. You stay in because a municipal judge deemed you a severe flight risk with a penchant for grand larceny. Either way, domestic bliss is no longer a lifestyle choice—it is a legally binding mandate. Slap this funny house arrest decal on your gear while you wait for your parole officer to check in.

Meet your new best friend: a tamper-proof, state-issued tether that gently buzzes when you think about crossing county lines. Who needs a clingy partner when the justice system cares this much about your exact GPS coordinates?

• Not a pedometer, so stop asking how many steps you took pacing the living room.
• Vibrates aggressively when exposed to airports, liquor stores, or international waters.
• The ultimate gag gift for true crime fans, hardcore introverts, and alleged accomplices.

A highly uncooperative addition to your personal items, designed strictly for your ongoing indoor isolation.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.