Cubicle Rigor Mortis T-Shirt — Funny Rigor Mortis Office Job

There is a specific stage of physiological decay that occurs right around 2:15 PM on a Tuesday. Your spine fuses with your chair, your eyes glaze over the glow of a spreadsheet, and your blood flow slows to the exact tempo of the fluorescent lights. Medical professionals call it clinical death. Middle management calls it being a team player.

Honor the brave men and women who have been physically deceased since 2004 but keep showing up to the grid anyway. This is for the corporate zombies quietly decomposing in a padded fabric box, just waiting for the sweet release of a server crash.

• Does not constitute proof of life for payroll purposes.
• If rigor mortis lasts longer than forty hours a week, consult a career counselor.
• Please decompose quietly so as not to disturb the open-plan layout.