Shown at actual size —
Point your phone's camera at the code — it opens this sticker in augmented reality, at actual size, on your wall. Size follows the one you pick here.
Deferred Maintenance — Funny Crash Test Dummy Sticker
- Printed to order in the U.S.
- Tracked to your door
- Free U.S. delivery
- 30-day returns
- A person answers your email
Ships fast, with tracking · Shipping details
Surface: White
30-day returns · secure Shopify checkout · a human answers questions
About this item
Cities and slumlords use the term 'deferred maintenance' when a bridge or a load-bearing wall is about thirty seconds away from a catastrophic localized event. We thought it was time to apply that same level of gross civic negligence to the human body.
Featuring a heavily compromised crash test dummy held together by industrial tape, spite, and a stubborn refusal to schedule a physical. You aren't mysterious, and you aren't cursed. You are simply a depreciating asset whose internal infrastructure budget was quietly slashed in 2016.
- Load-bearing duct tape is not a medically recognized substitute for serotonin.
- Current structural integrity: thoughts, prayers, and spite.
- Do not inspect under the hood (it is entirely microplastics and cortisol).
Kiss-cut sticker. 100% durable vinyl. Kiss-cut to shape with the backing left intact. Glossy finish. Indoor decor — not waterproof. UV print, kiss-cut.
Shipping & returns
Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. U.S. delivery is free.
Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.
Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.
