Deferred Maintenance — Tee

Cities and slumlords use the term 'deferred maintenance' when a bridge or a load-bearing wall is about thirty seconds away from a catastrophic localized event. We thought it was time to apply that same level of gross civic negligence to the human body.

Featuring a heavily compromised crash test dummy held together by industrial tape, spite, and a stubborn refusal to schedule a physical. You aren't mysterious, and you aren't cursed. You are simply a depreciating asset whose internal infrastructure budget was quietly slashed in 2016.

• Load-bearing duct tape is not a medically recognized substitute for serotonin.
• Current structural integrity: thoughts, prayers, and spite.
• Do not inspect under the hood (it is entirely microplastics and cortisol).