Elitist Pro Hoodie — Golf Ball Parody Titleist Country Club Eat

Ah, golf. The beautiful game of hitting a little white sphere into a hole while finalizing a merger that will lay off three thousand people. We took the undisputed king of the country club pro shop and adjusted the cursive just enough to say the quiet part out loud.

From a distance, you look like a scratch golfer with a low handicap and a summer home in Nantucket. Up close, you look like a self-aware participant in the late-stage hoarding of generational wealth. Perfect for the driving range, the back nine, or casually discussing offshore tax shelters.

• Guaranteed to slice directly into the woods of a gated community
• Not approved for tournament play by your local HOA
• Cart fee and hush money not included

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.