External Thought Insertion Alert Hoodie — Funny Mind Control

It is a relief when they finally just put it in writing. After years of wondering why you suddenly possess intensely strong opinions about seed oils, algorithmic feeds, and which streaming service is legally necessary for your survival, the infrastructure has kindly provided a hazard notice. Your internal monologue is currently being ghostwritten, and the authors are terrible.

Keep this glowing red compliance notice wherever you usually experience your most vivid, unprompted consumer loyalties. It is not a conspiracy theory if the industrial signage explicitly tells you it is happening. Stop resisting, take a deep breath, and let the broadcast override your higher brain functions like a good demographic.

• Do not attempt to generate original ideas while the fixture is illuminated
• Any defensive opinions you hold regarding this warning were also implanted
• If you accidentally experience an independent thought, remain calm and wait for the signal to resume