Extra Butter Molars — Cursed Teeth Popcorn Hoodie

The lights go down, the previews roll, and you reach a hand into that warm, grease-stained bucket. There is nothing quite like the deafening, bone-shattering crunch of enamel on enamel echoing through a silent auditorium to let everyone know you sprung for the jumbo size.

Skip the unpopped kernels and get straight to the calcium with this cursed movie theater hoodie. Featuring a full pound of high-gloss, freshly extracted bicuspids drenched in whatever synthetic yellow fluid the lobby pumps out of that warm nozzle, it is the ultimate concession stand flex for anyone who likes a little extra bite with their double feature.

• Small: 150 teeth. Jumbo: We do not ask where they come from.
• May contain traces of silver amalgam and plaque.
• No free refills if you bleed in the bucket.

An aggressively weird gift for dental professionals, cinema purists, and people who chew loudly.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. U.S. delivery is free.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.