Hold Your Horses — Tee

Everyone acts like snake hair was Athena's ultimate punishment, but reptiles mostly just sleep under heat lamps. The real mythological nightmare is a scalp full of fifty tiny, feral stallions screaming for oats, biting your ears, and violently shitting down your neck.

A completely unhinged visual execution of the worst idiom in the English language. Perfect for when the group chat is spiraling, management is asking for weekend deliverables, or you’re exactly one minor inconvenience away from turning a room full of people into gravel.

• Do not look directly into the eyes of the scalp-stallions.
• Turning middle management to stone is legally considered a zoning violation.
• Mane and tail maintenance requires specialized shampoo and a lot of emotional labor.
• If you hear microscopic galloping, run.

Everything is printed to order — your item is made after you buy it. Production takes 2–7 business days, then 3–5 in transit (U.S.) or 10–20 international. Most U.S. orders arrive within 5–12 days, with tracking emailed when it ships.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy.