Corn Maze Critical Fail Hoodie — Funny Halloween DnD RPG

Printed as: “I Shit My Pants In The Corn Maze”

Look upon the mighty warrior, brought to his knees not by a fearsome dragon or a cursed warlock, but by a teenager in a rubber mask wielding a chainsaw with the chain removed. The epic grandeur of classic 1980s tabletop fantasy meets the crushing, undeniable reality of sudden, fear-induced adult gastrointestinal cowardice.

Sometimes the most brutal campaigns do not happen in the Underdark, but at a seasonal pop-up attraction in a muddy parking lot. Broadcast a catastrophic loss of dignity with the unearned gravity of a high-fantasy tragedy, and kindly warn the people behind you in line that your fight-or-flight response involves an immediate biological evacuation.

The Fine Print:

• No saving throws against irritable bowel syndrome
• The Dungeon Master is just a guy named Brad who manages the petting zoo
• Does not grant immunity to the teenager jumping out from behind the hay bales
• Roll for dignity (critical failure)