Lactose Intolerance Gang War — Blanket
- Printed to order in the U.S.
- Tracked to your door
- Free U.S. delivery
- 30-day returns
- A person answers your email
Ships fast, with tracking · Shipping details
Size: 50" × 60"
30-day returns · secure Shopify checkout · a human answers questions
About this item
Your gastrointestinal tract is a warzone, and a sentient wedge of cheddar just authorized a hit on your lower intestine. We took the lamest, most apologizing-at-a-dinner-party biological weakness on earth and gave it the iced-out, hyper-violent 90s bootleg tribute it deserves.
Watch in horror as cheerful 1930s rubber-hose dairy products ruthlessly jump an unsuspecting human stomach, backed by aggressive typography that demands respect. You don't have a dietary restriction, you have active beef with the entire agricultural sector.
- The beef: Strictly pasteurized.
- The opps: A two-percent milk jug holding a crowbar.
- The fallout: A biological drive-by in a poorly ventilated public restroom.
Shipping & returns
Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. U.S. delivery is free.
Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.
Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.