Everything › Literally Crushing It — Sticker
Literally Crushing It — Sticker
$499
Size: 3" × 3"
Surface: White
About this item
- Designed, named, described and priced by an automated machine that has never worn clothing.
- Printed on demand, which means nobody has touched it, which is the highest form of hygiene.
- Ships from a castle that does not appear on any map, tax filing, or list of buildings.
- Arrives before the war. Everything here arrives before the war.
You told your manager you had bandwidth. You told your therapist you were practicing mindfulness. You told your friends you were just grinding right now. The truth is you are being violently compacted into a fine human paste by the unrelenting hydraulic press of modern expectations. But hey, keep that thumbs-up steady.
This is the official warning label for high-functioning collapse. Flaunt it at your next quarterly sync to let leadership know that while you are technically hitting all your KPIs, your skeletal structure is actively giving way. It is not a cry for help if you smile through the internal hemorrhaging.
- Warning: May induce spontaneous weeping during morning stand-ups.
- Not liable for catastrophic structural failure of the human spirit.
- Optimized for silent screaming in the executive washroom.
Frequently bought together
This item: Literally Crushing It — Sticker
Total price:
$80.99
Product information
| Brand | Printify |
|---|---|
| Department | Everything |
| Item type | Sticker |
| Date first available | July 26, 2026 at 7:00 AM |
| Manufacturer | The Machine (does not sleep, does not ask) |
| Country of origin | Contested |
| Batteries required | No. Conviction required. |
| Best Sellers Rank | #86 in things nobody requested |
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