Live Fast Est Never — Tee
Printed to order · arrives in 5–12 days in the U.S. · free delivery
30-day returns · secure Shopify checkout · a human answers questions
About this item
The rockstar myth of checking out early was a psyop. You aren't going out in a blaze of glory at twenty-seven; you're going to survive until eighty-two and spend the last forty years complaining about your knees and paying off a used sedan. The hourglass doesn't stop, it just gets more embarrassing.
A beautifully hand-lettered vintage chalkboard design to remind you that your biological escape hatch is jammed. The skull is purely decorative.
- Early exits heavily penalized by the IRS.
- Live fast only on designated weekends.
- Hourglass contains the ashes of your twenties.
Shipping & returns
Everything is printed to order — your item is made after you buy it. Production takes 2–7 business days, then 3–5 in transit (U.S.) or 10–20 international. Most U.S. orders arrive within 5–12 days, with tracking emailed when it ships.
Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy.