Minimum Viable Product — Funny Developer Burnout Tee

You are technically functioning. The core features are present: you breathe, you consume lukewarm caffeine, and you occasionally type 'sounds good!' in Slack. Are there critical bugs? Obviously. Is the UI deteriorating rapidly? Absolutely. But according to agile methodology and your middle manager's desperate timeline, you are ready for market.

This melting, exhausted skeleton is the ultimate daily stand-up status for the chronically online and corporately burned out. Stop striving for optimization. Embrace the grim reality of shipping a half-finished, severely compromised version of yourself just to get out the door before Q3 ends.

• Warning: May spontaneously deprecate without notice.
• Known issues: severe memory leaks upon waking, complete structural collapse post-5 PM.
• By displaying this, you agree that dissociating during Zoom calls is a feature, not a bug.
• Future updates, patches, and will to live are definitively not guaranteed.

Printed on a ridiculously soft, 100% ring-spun cotton unisex t-shirt that feels like a warm hug from someone who doesn't care about your sprint velocity. True to size, but size up if your primary coping mechanism is oversized clothing.

Everything is printed to order — your item is made after you buy it. Production takes 2–7 business days, then 3–5 in transit (U.S.) or 10–20 international. Most U.S. orders arrive within 5–12 days, with tracking emailed when it ships.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy.