Mostly Defended Garden Flag — Funny Home Security Sign
- Printed to order in the U.S.
- Tracked to your door
- Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+
- 30-day returns
- A person answers your email
Ships fast, with tracking · Shipping details
Secure Shopify checkout · a person answers your email
About this item
Welcome to our home, where the alarm system is just an old sticker on the window and the dog prefers naps over guarding the perimeter. The Mostly Defended garden flag is the ultimate coat of arms for realistic expectations. It lets the neighborhood know your property is somewhat secure, but honestly, if a determined raccoon wants the trash, he's probably taking it.
- Ideal for houses with a Beware of Dog sign where the dog is a twelve-pound fluffy coward
- A great way to lower the stakes of neighborhood home defense
- Sets the bar perfectly for delivery drivers, in-laws, and mildly inconvenienced trespassers
An outdoor yard banner designed to hang proudly in your aggressively average front yard.
Shipping & returns
Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.
Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.
Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.